BRIGHT SIDE OF BEING AN INTROVERT: Raising them the right way.

20 years. No, it’s not my age but the time it took for me to start understanding myself in a better light.

“What is your ego about?” is what I would always get back from my parents, whenever I used to refuse to go out and talk to people.

“You lost all your school friends as you yourself don’t talk to them a lot”, an old school colleague told me once.

But the funny part is that, years later, I still have friends, a bunch of them, who doesn’t mind me not talking to them every day, being silent for weeks together, or not being an extravaganza extrovert with every soul on this planet. I can be crazy with them and go complete mum before others. They absolutely don’t mind. I have another creature in this bunch who is like an alter ego twin to me, another introvert who was the 1^st one to make me realize that people like us do exist and there is nothing wrong with that. There are many more in this whole wide world.

 I am an introvert, which I obviously figured out later in life. But that doesn’t make me an aloof soul who never put her foot out in the world. Looking retrospectively,  I have been a successful house captain, taking my house to multiple wins for all four senior years I was there, 2 years of primary and 2 years of secondary school. Have been a regular contestant and winner in various stage activities, from speeches, debates, singing, and dancing to what not. I do speak when I am needed to. But the push to be an extrovert would sometimes greatly undermine my confidence. You can call me an Ambivert or a situational introvert if that term exists.

Introverts may speak less and don’t mend with everyone, but when they speak, they tend to make a lot of sense which both attracts and impresses everyone around. them

“We love to listen in a world that loves to speak, and we know to do it well.” We are great silent observers, we know and understand a lot more than people think w do because we are good at taking all in.

I am not yet a parent, but speaking from my own experience, it is important for parents to understand this spectrum of personality.

“The kid next door is such an outspoken, cheerful, friendly, and popular child, I don’t know why my kid doesn’t mix up with people. She will be outcasted by everyone, she’ll not fit in the world, and no one will be there for her if she stays like that,” A mother was telling this to my mom once. And my own life flashbacked before my eyes.

“She may be an introvert. It is okay to be one,” was all I could say to her as her reaction clearly told me she was not interested in knowing it any further.

We don’t need to actually be a people’s person to understand people well. We may find some social interactions enjoyable, but up to a certain point, after which, it may start to drain us and we may want to get back to ourselves.

Parents should start to broaden their view now. They should learn to support the kid in the direction they choose for themselves, instead of pushing them in a direction they (parents) choose for them. Each child is different, their personality is different. Just because you see ninety-nine out of hundred kids around you, talking to a lot of people, being a people pleaser, and your one kid is not that way, for god’s sake, don’t push him to be like everyone else. Irrespective of all the tags the world may put on, it is a parent’s job to ensure that their kid is comfortable and confident as himself.

It is not bad to be different. It is not wrong to not be a people pleaser. It is not abnormal to enjoy solitude more than the crowd. It is just unique. Introverts may seem pitiful to this loud extrovert world, but instead, they are way more stable and at ease in this world. They are self-sufficient, can face loneliness much more easily (though it hurts everyone), don’t need others to make them happy, are observant enough to take better decisions, and have deeper thoughts and a more meaningful existence.

We just need our “Me time” to recharge ourselves. We may not speak much, but it is enough if our actions can speak for us.

{Written by DOCTOR MENTIS (WORTHYWORDS). – Based on my personal experience and various research studies published on Introverts.}