CONFLICT OF EMOTIONS : HEALTHY WAY TO DEAL WITH SADNESS.

“Don’t be sad. Be cheerful.”

We hear these too often that they become embedded in our minds. And we start assuming that all we need to do in life is to be happy, no matter what. But that is far from reality and in fact sometime turn more toxic from inside. Here in this article, I am going to put my take on emotional conflicts inside our minds and few healthy ways to deal with them. Let’s start with:

Accepting your true emotions.

That’s what real-life demands.

Scientifically, emotions are the external manifestations of our mind’s network created to deal with external stimuli. Like a balanced diet is made with different nutrients and tastes, similarly, a normal human thought system is made up of different emotions.

So, it’s as normal to feel sad, as it is to feel happy and everything in between.

Positivity: the new moral correctness

Don’t push for positivity.

In this era, somehow being positive has become the moral duty of every so-called strong individual. Strength somehow is being connected to the power to dissociate with one’s own emotions and fake the socially acceptable ones. Doesn’t matter if you can relate to it or not.

Honestly, that’s not healthy.

False happiness is good for nothing

Yes, I agree that being happy keeps you healthy, but that’s because of all the good hormones released inside our body when we are happy. I mean actually, genuinely happy.

But if you are sad from the inside, and try to portray happiness on the outside, your brain gets confused. Forget about releasing good hormones, but instead it may land up into releasing the bad ones because, for the brain even confusion is a state of stress. The brain needs clarity to make proper circuits.

Natural emotions should not be suppressed.

Similarly, feeling sad for an instance should not be inferred to living with sadness.

Because sadness is an emotion for which the brain has its type of emotional response. Internal pain comes out one way or another and then it doesn’t only affect you, but also people around you.

The more you’ll ignore the natural emotions, the more you’ll get into their hold. (Same as what happens to chocolates and pastries kept in the fridge, the more you’ll try to constrain yourself from eating them, the more they’ll occupy your thoughts.)

If you try to stop feeling the negative emotions whatever the situation may be, you might have created a dead person’s goal for yourself. Being sad, feeling bad, inconvenience are part and parcel of life as much as happiness is. Try to accept your emotions and label them in detail.

HOW TO COPE UP WITH EMOTIONAL DOWNFALLS?

Categorize your emotions

I’m sad may have hundreds of meanings.

You may be sad because of some loss, because of disappointment, because of a simple mood change, because of deficit, etc. So, go into the detail, when you address your emotion, that helps in sorting it out in a better way.

DON’T MIX YOU WITH YOUR EMOTIONS

Face your emotions, but don’t let them guide you necessarily in your decision. Don’t let them own you. Own them.

A very practical way to start training your brain in this direction is simply by changing “I’m” to “I feel”. This is a method usually taught to monks to control their minds.

Don’t make “you”, your emotion. Keep the two of them separate.

For example:-

“I am sad” changes to “I feel sad”

“I am disappointed” becomes “I feel disappointed.” and so on.

And eventually, you’ll realize that your emotions are losing control over you and you can tackle them better.

{Written by DOCTOR MENTIS (WORTHYWORDS). – Based on various studies published on emotions and mindfullness.}